I hate your face
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
