Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
