She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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