OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
