Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
