he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
