Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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