Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize