Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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