I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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