i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
