she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
