i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
