I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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