it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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