I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
