It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
