K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
