I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
