So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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