I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
