if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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