I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
