Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dicks are not precious.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My bed smells like the plague
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
