You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
