I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
