hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
