Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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