Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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