I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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