Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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