Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
