this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
