i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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