i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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