I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
