Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Two words: blizzard sex
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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