Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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