Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
