It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
