Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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