Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
