I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
