wanna go halves on a baby?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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