You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
