you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
