Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
