Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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