yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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