If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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