I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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