I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
