so explain again why im purple
no
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
