Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
