i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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