How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
