Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
