Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
