he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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