im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
