is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
